I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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