Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
