so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
