He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
