i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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