My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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