Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
