He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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