escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
