yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
