How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
