I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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