Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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