I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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