i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
