I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I know her cup size but not her name....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
