I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
