Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
