Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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