Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
