He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
