just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
