last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
