just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
