I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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