erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
