Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize