i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
