YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize