all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Quick, to the slutcave!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
