Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
