office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
