You really coming over, don't trick.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
