Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
