: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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