So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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