So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
