He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
