It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
