id be glad to
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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