What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
