You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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