So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
