I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
