Jerry, you need to find god
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
