Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
