Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
