wrigley field is MILF paradise
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
