i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
