is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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