A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
God, I missed his penis.
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