no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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