Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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