watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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