I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
