someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
