Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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