The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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