i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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