smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
