I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
