Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize