You really coming over, don't trick.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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